Tonight I went to a place I’d never been before all on my own and gave a talk on music journalism to a decently packed record store for a full hour. I have such a sense of victory, it seems unreal. Up until I was about sixteen, I had a horrendous stutter (or stammer, I’m not sure what the difference is, or even if there is one). It was the worst thing. I couldn’t even read aloud from a book in a classroom of my peers, hell, sometimes I could barely answer the register. I hated it, I hated myself for it. I used to kick myself under the desk, or dig my nails into my arms as hard as I could, hoping it’d force the words out. It still terrifies me. I’ve somehow lost it, or grown out of it, for the most part, but every time I have to do anything that involves speaking out in public, even if it’s something as simple as a comment in a lecture, I get a bit of the fear.
To have done what I did tonight, on my own, in a room full of total strangers, in a town I’d never visited before, in relation to something I’m as passionate about as I am about music journalism… It’s surreal.
A substantial part of the energy behind this post may be due to the fact that I was given one of the world’s sugariest cupcakes before I left the record store, but I don’t even care. I’m beaming. And I want the whole world to know it.
P.S – I had my first piece published for Line Of Best Fit today. Short, but sweet. Dig it.